Are you ready for dating strategies? Are you ready to get tactical?
How do you know when you’re ready to start getting super strategic with dating?
There’s relationship and dating advice galore out there. There’s dating gurus who will sell you all kinds of dating strategy.
They have countless products meant to help you get super strategic with dating.
That’s great, but are you really ready for that?
Women and men come to me for dating advice and about 80% of the time, they’re not actually ready to begin dating. They don’t even realize it until after we speak. I tell people that unless you have two things going for you, then don’t even think about getting strategic with dating. Don’t go there yet. You’re not ready!
What are these two things?
First, you must be happy, and the second? You must have a healthy self-esteem.
Don’t have these two things going for you? Then don’t even think about dating.
Are you worried that you don’t have these two things going for you? That’s okay, at one point I didn’t either.
Why do you have to be happy?
If you don’t know how to make yourself happy, you will do two things. First, you will expect it from others, which never works. Second, you will put too much pressure on the other person as a result. Pressure feels bad. Any happy and self-respecting person will feel suffocated if another person puts that kind of pressure on them.
What happens?
As soon as they begin to feel suffocated, they run, or they ghost you.
Does this sound familiar?
Also, if you’re unhappy then you’re not open to love. You’re actually closed off from love if you’re an unhappy person. If you’re unhappy then you’re not open to a healthy relationship. You’re too dependent upon other people for your happiness and it will continue to lead to dead-end relationships.
What should you do if you’re unhappy?
You can spend time figuring out why you’re unhappy, or you can simply begin doing activities that make you happy. Spend time with people who make you happy. Have friends.
Did something really awful happen to you? Get therapy.
Find out why you’re unhappy if you need to, but most importantly, learn what does make you happy. Sometimes we get too bogged down into why we’re unhappy when all we really need to do is find ways to spend our time doing things that make us happy. If you don’t know what makes you happy then you need to find out!
Try new things. Create new neurological connections in your brain by trying new things. This stimulates your brain and makes you happy. Do this by creating more positive experiences for your brain. Positive experiences will make you happy.
Get out there and live a life. Try new things. Meet new people and make a life for yourself that you love. Nobody will do it for you. You’ve got to get off your butt and get moving!
Why do you need a healthy self-esteem?
If you don’t have a healthy self-esteem then that means you don’t feel deserving. If you don’t feel deserving then you’re blocking yourself from love.
Don’t feel good about who you are? Figure out why and then do something about it.
Read self-help books. Book a consult with me. Do whatever you need to do, to figure out what it is that’s making you feel bad about who you are.
There’s always a solution. There’s always a solution, IF you want it badly enough.
Here’s the deal…
We all have weaknesses that we feel badly about. We all have baggage. We all have stuff about us that’s not so great.
The trick?
You have to learn to love yourself despite those things, while simultaneously working to improve those things.
Accept them but work on them at the same time. Here’s what happens. You don’t have to completely change, you just need progress towards your goals. You just need to accept that about you, and make slight adjustments in your life that show progress.
All you need is progress…not perfection.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Perfection is a falsity. Perfection is a lie.
Do your best. Give yourself credit for doing your best and find the good in you.
Focus on the good. For every negative trait humans have, we have a positive trait associated with it.
Bottom line.
Until you learn how to be happy and have a healthy self-esteem, dating tactics won’t work. Not in the long run anyhow.
Do me a favor right now.
Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Challenge yourself to seek progress because you love yourself, and pat yourself on the back for trying.
Create happiness in your life. Find happiness from within and then begin dating.
That’s the only way it works.
There’s no short cuts.
Take care.
Your friend,
Niki Booker
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