Do you constantly put yourself down? Are you always mentally beating yourself up? Is this effecting your happiness? Are you generally grumpy or stressed out? Don’t be such a jerk to yourself!
To be “Happy” every day, or most days, takes work for the majority of people. It’s not automatic or natural.
Most people don’t wake up happy every day. I’m one of those people who is naturally critical and over analytical. I literally used to drive myself crazy, and still do sometimes!
While these traits have always helped me to do well at my job, it has caused suffering in my personal relationships. I used to wake up every day thinking about what I did wrong yesterday, or the day before, or how stupid I was when I did “fill in the blank.”
I was often talking negatively to myself and putting myself down. I spent a lot of time in my own head entertaining the negative self-talk.
A lot of people do this.
One day my mom, who is the smartest and kindest woman I know (Hi Mom!), said to me.
Niki, if you had a friend who talked to you the way you’re talking to yourself, you would tell that friend to “F” off.
She doesn’t mince words, my mother.
How do you stop the negative self-talk?
Below is my own personal process that I do pretty much every day. If I want to have a good day anyway. Also, when I find myself in a rut, it’s because I’ve gotten out of this routine for a few days and I need to make a point to get my head back into a good place. It may seem super simple to some people, but it was a real challenge for me. I know there are others like me.
Before I tell you my process that I use when I find myself feeling a bit down, there’s one very important thing you must realize and remember.
You must accept yourself for who you are.
In order to accept yourself, you must embrace and realize something very important.
You are unique. There is no one else like you and so you MUST live your life authentically. Embrace your authenticity. Love who you are, flaws and all.
You have to know who you are…the good and the bad. Once you know who you are, and you accept yourself, that’s when you can really tackle the negative self-talk.
Remember, we’re all imperfect beings looking to be accepted. This begins with YOU. You must accept who you are and have self-love. I cannot stress this enough!
How do you do stop being such a jerk to yourself and get in a better state of mind?