“Find Your Soul. Find Your Soulmate.”

Episode #32: Three Traits Women Crave in a Man

Find out three traits that modern women crave in a man. It may not be what you think…

(see transcript below podcast links)

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(transcript from the episode below)

When I had the idea to talk about this today, I must say that it was inspired by my husband and hopefully you listened to the last podcast episode where we chatted for a little bit. Um, I started thinking to myself, what is it about this man? Why do I have to be with this man? And what about him is so different from the rest? It’s funny because I don’t sit around thinking about this all the time. I mean, I do think about how fortunate I am to have met him and how much I appreciate him, but I realize what prompted me was this moment where I witnessed him do something that gave me just an amazing feeling inside. I felt true peace. I felt love and admiration for this man. I think that most women want generally the same thing, but most importantly, the kind of women who men want and that men crave are attracted to the three traits that I’m going to talk about.

They may not even be consciously aware of it, but they feel it. I’m talking about a modern independent woman who still acts like a woman. I’m talking about the kind of woman who is able to let her guard down and be vulnerable with the man. But she’s still strong and firm in her beliefs. She knows who she is, she knows her value, but she doesn’t judge other people. A woman who is well rounded and has her shit together. This woman has life’s priorities straight and she will help you make good choices. She’ll back you up and support you when you need her. She’s open and honest in her standards, but she isn’t overly harsh and critical. If you demonstrate these three traits to this woman, you will have her heart forever. And of course she’ll expect the same in return. So what are these traits that women crave?

I’ve talked before about how women are attracted to confident men, right? I think that’s something people generally agree with and it’s important that your man is confident, but it goes beyond that. You can talk a big game all day, but can you deliver? In my opinion, it’s not so much confidence as it is competence. So which leads me to my first trait, a strong and competent man. A man who sets his mind to do something and then he accomplishes that very thing. It’s beyond hot. He needs to do this in most areas of his life. It can’t just be in one area. I’m talking about the man who says he’s going to do something and then he is committed to getting it done. No matter how difficult it is, and no matter how long it takes, this man has staying power and a strong will isn’t a quitter, and he finds a way to get shit done.

Of course, you know, I love to talk about evolutionary psychology. You know, women are attracted to the Alpha male when we, we want the man who is going to hunt and will not return until he has his kill. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but obviously let’s apply it to this day and age. I’m not saying I want to be with a man who hunts. Okay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m from Texas, y’all, but I’m talking about a man who sets his mind to something and he sees it through until the end. He wants to get that promotion or a new job or a new car or whatever it is, and he finds a way to make it happen. He wants that woman and he is going to pursue the crap out of her until he gets her. He wants to buy that house for his family so he does whatever he needs to do to set money aside to make it happen and it doesn’t have to be a big fancy house.

He takes care of his family. His little girl wants a certain toy for her birthday and by God he will not return home without that toy. So competence is key, but what takes it to the next level? Some men are so cut throat that they will walk all over anybody to get what they want. Women aren’t into this so much as they once were and I’m not too sure they ever were into it so much as they were more willing to tolerate it, not the kind of woman that you want. Anyway, modern women, we don’t want this anymore. We don’t need it anymore because we can take care of ourselves for the most part, financially, you know, as you know, a lot of women now contribute more financially than their guy. More and more women can take care of themselves. So it’s allowed men, in my opinion, to tone it down a bit.

So what does that look like and what does that even mean? Do you know what’s even hotter than a strong and competent man? A man who achieved success with kindness and integrity. He still has to be assertive, but he’s honest and how he conducts his business. He doesn’t have to take someone else down in order to move up necessarily. I’m talking about the kind of man that is able to do what he needs to do for his business and for his family, but he doesn’t have to hurt other people in the process. He’s strong, he’s honest, and he’s kind.

So the next trait, loving and nurturing. A loving and nurturing yet strong man was hard to find. Believe it or not. If you think about it though, it’s really the equivalent to what men crave. I mean, men want a woman, a Good man wants a woman who’s strong and firm in her beliefs. She sets boundaries, she respects herself, but she’s also loving and she can be vulnerable and she has a softer side. Women really want the same thing. We want a man who can provide for our family and who puts his family first. We also want that man to turn around and be loving and kind to our children and to our family members. If you can be the man who conducts himself in a strong and assertive manner and can then turn around and show love and affection to your family, I don’t think there’s anything hotter than that.

You know, some of you might think I’m being super obvious here, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is to find a man who has these traits going for him. When I see my husband lovingly and carefully tending to one of our children, my heart melts. This man takes care of us and we’re his number one priority, he makes that very clear to us every day through his actions and his words. He’s a wonderful provider and I never worry. He’s strong and aggressive in his business, but he’s also able to show a softer side of himself, the nurturing side that shows his love for his family. You know, we know he can take care of us, but he shows his love also. He can be strong and assertive but can also be tender and soft with his children and his wife. He understands that it doesn’t really matter if we have a roof over our heads if we don’t have his love, affection and dedication to us.

Man, it took me a long time to find someone like that and it seems most men are one extreme or the other. It’s really hard to find that balance. On one hand you have men who are super aggressive and they’ll just walk over anybody at work and then they get home and they can’t turn it off. So they just come across as just cold and distant. Some of them aren’t loyal in business, so they aren’t loyal with their family and the other type, it’s almost like they’re just too soft and not aggressive enough. And so unfortunately they come across as weak and they’re probably not weak really. They just, that’s how they come across. Women don’t see them as the Alpha male and they aren’t attracted to these men. They may marry them, but I can guarantee you their sex life is less than desirable.

Which leads me to my next very important trait. The last trade is he cares about her sexual needs. Yep. I went there and now don’t worry, I’m not going to get all graphic. It’s not that kind of podcast, but it’s important to address a healthy sex life is the hallmark of a happy marriage. You know this, some men think that women don’t care as much about sex as men, and that’s simply not true. Maybe we don’t care. Okay. Exactly as much, but we do care. Unfortunately, some women haven’t been with a partner who understands the important of this. They don’t get it, and these guys don’t know what they’re missing. Men let her know what she’s missing out on. Times have changed, and women are way more in tune with their own sexual needs. It’s no longer just about the guy as it sadly has been in the past.

And there’s this stupid misconception that some women don’t enjoy sex as much as men or that it’s not as important. Again, not true. For the longest time, women, it’s like we were programed to make our man happy in the bedroom. Better make sure his needs are met. It’s so stupid, and I’m not saying it’s not important. Guys, if you want your needs to be met, you better make sure hers are as well. Keep it comparable and make sure both your needs are being met. In fact, I urge you to explore this more. Read a book, do some research on the female body. Educate yourself. Even if you think you know it all seriously. If you’re meeting your woman’s sexual needs, you won’t be sorry. Times have changed. More and more. Women aren’t afraid to explore their own sexuality. Women are sexual beings just like men and it’s, you know, it’s a lot more acceptable now.

There’s nothing wrong with having a happy and healthy sex life with your partner and hey, you know there are studies that show sex is good for your health. It gives you a stronger immune system, lowers your blood pressure, increases your heart health, reduces your risk of heart disease, hypertension, stroke. If anything, you owe it to yourself for the sake of your health. So you know the thing happy wife, happy life make are very happy in the bedroom and you will feel like the king of the tribe and she’ll treat you like the king to just remember life is a balancing act. You must practice everything in moderation. You have to find some middle ground. You can be strong, but you can also be loving and nurturing. You have to be firm in your beliefs, but kind in your delivery. I firmly believe, and I’ve said this before, that anything to the extreme is bad.

If you’re too focused on one area of your life then other areas will suffer, you have to find a happy balance between being a strong, yet loving man. You also have to carefully consider the act of expressing your love to each other. Intimacy and marriage equals a healthy sex life with your one and only of course, honesty, fidelity, and the obvious are essential to a happy relationship. And you know, there’s also a list of other attractive qualities and you gotta be attracted to each other, happy, emotionally mature, but if you want to take your relationship to the next level, then do what women crave.

Hey, thanks for listening today. You can find www.nikibooker.com I offer a private coaching if that’s something you’re interested in, how the best day ever. And until next time.

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