“Find Your Soul. Find Your Soulmate.”

Episode #35: Two Things a Man Needs from the Woman He Loves

Learn about two things every man needs if you want his endless love and adoration. What type of woman does these two things and how do you actually accomplish them?

(see transcript below podcast links)

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(transcript from the episode below)

There’s all kind of things, that men and women both want from their partner. I think we really want the same things, but because we’re a different sex, it shows up in different forms or it’s expressed in different ways. And so we just don’t always really understand where the other sex is coming from, what they’re talking about, and why they’re feeling a certain way. But I think we really all want the same thing. But today’s post is about two things that men long for from the woman that they love, that they’re in a relationship with or that they’re thinking about getting into a relationship. And if you can provide these two things to the man that you love, he will love you and adore you forever. But of course, like everything else I talk about it, you know, it must be sincere.

It has to be authentic and real. So what are two things that men want from the woman who has their heart? And more importantly, what are two things that you can do as a woman to make sure that you have his heart forever? So the first thing, and it’s so simple, men want you to love them for who they really are. I think women want that too. I think men just, I think they’re a lot easier. I think women are just more complex because we think more with our emotional side and men think more logically. I think it’s sometimes a little more straightforward for them but it depends on what you’re talking about, but men want you to love them for who they really are. This means that you accept him his flaws and all, and in fact you find his flaws aren’t in fact flaws, but they’re just quirks to an already lovable personality.

You don’t nit pick the little things that you don’t like or try and change things about him that annoy you. Remember, everyone has positive traits associated with their negative traits and we talked about that in another episode. There’s always an upside to a negative trait and there’s always a downside to a positive trait. You definitely don’t criticize his decisions and demasculinize him. If your overly critical and judgmental towards your man, you are basically destroying your relationship. And the second thing, men want you to fully support them and believe in them and in their dreams. I have found this to be so true. Men went to know that you have confidence in them and their ability to provide for you and your family. When a woman is confident in his decisions, it only builds his confidence more. And if a man has a woman in his corner whom he respects and who truly believes in him and supports his decisions, it will make for a stronger and more confident man and happier man.

And if you don’t really love who he is deep on the inside, then you may not know how to fully support his dreams. And this is because you may not fully understand them or maybe even agree with them. And we’ll get into that more into that later. But you know, I think men are the true romantics. I actually believe that men are way more romantic than women. Seriously, is anybody with me here? You know, when we were little girls, we were read the fairy tale storybooks about finding our prince, but I think some women and men get fixated on the material things, you know, we think about the material things that a man is able to provide for us and that’s okay. I’m not even saying it’s a bad thing necessarily, but I feel like sometimes we get so fixated on the house and the car and the bank account and decorating the house, which I know I’m guilty of. I’m obsessed with decorating this house, but you got to remember that’s not what it’s all about. And that’s not very romantic. I mean, and again, I’m not saying that all women focus on is materialistic stuff. I’m saying that sometimes women and men too can lose focus on what’s really important. When we have nice things available to us it’s, it’s all too easy to become distracted by fancy stuff that’s just not as important.

I’m going to talk about a little bit of evolutionary psychology again, but just a little, you know, it’s programmed women to seek out the best mate with the highest likelihood of being able to provide for their children. What does that mean? That’s resources. The alpha male or the chief, you know, some might argue women are definitely attracted to strong and powerful men. They just are. Most of them are. There’s a reason for that and that’s women’s biological drive to ensure our children are provided for and that our ancestors survive. You know, we tend to seek out a man who’s a good provider for the survival of our children, even if we can provide it for them ourselves, and we don’t really need it. Now. A lot of us women, but remember our brains and our psyche have evolved to deal with the issues that our ancestors faced.

They don’t evolve as quickly as this changing world. And that’s the theory behind evolutionary psychology. Yes, we can provide for ourselves, but it gets tricky when you have kids. You know, your children’s needs may require something different than you planned for. You know, a lot of women still prefer to stay home, some work part time, some work full time. Some take care of their children while the man works. Now a lot of men are staying home. I mean there’s no right or wrong way. I really don’t. I don’t agree with one or the other. I think it’s whatever works for you and your family, you should do whatever keeps a happy household basically. And I think sometimes women are influenced or feel pressure to maybe settle for less than love. If we’ve met someone who we think is a good provider, it makes things a little more complicated because we begin to live in our head more rather than, you know, lead with our heart.

We’re forced to in a way because we want to love, but we also want to be sure that we’re taking care of and that our children will be taken care of. And some might argue that that makes it a little more complex for women. But you know, men have their own set of complexities that they go through when they’re choosing a mate. It’s just, again, you know, it’s just a little bit different. So how do you meet a man you can believe in? Well, first and foremost, you must know your value and have self respect. I say this every time. You also have to learn how to be vulnerable so that he feels safe and expressing his hopes and dreams with you. This gives you the opportunity to support him and believe in him. And I’ve said this over and over again, it’s so important to learn to be vulnerable, men and women. If you cannot be vulnerable with each other, then you won’t get closer. You won’t be able to develop this deep level of connection that’s required to maintain a long lasting relationship. It’s intimacy. Without intimacy, relationships don’t last. And the way that you get to that is you have to learn how to be vulnerable. We have to learn how to let our guard down, and that’s really difficult for some people to do.

But when a man meets a woman who does this, it makes him want to be a better man for her. Men want to be the best version of themselves. And women do too. But men do this when you push them to be better. It’s tricky though because it only works if you really love him for who he really is. You can’t be nagging on him all the time. You can’t be trying to change him. You want to inspire, when I say push, I mean inspire. So you have to really love him for who he is. It must be authentic. You have to adore his positive traits and push those out of him. Not harp on the small little things that you maybe you don’t like so much or maybe you don’t like a lot of stuff and then that’s a problem if that’s the case, but you really don’t have to push at all if you share the same values and beliefs.

And I’ve talked about that in one of the episodes as far as you know, it’s so important that you share the same beliefs. Strong, but conflicting beliefs can derail you and you have to make sure that when you’re dating and when you’re together you, you know, you talk about the important stuff. Don’t keep it on the surface. A lot of us keep it on the surface. Then we get married, everything crumbles and we wonder why. Talk about what’s in your heart and what you believe in. Even if you hold a strong or controversial opinion about something, it’s pretty amazing when you find someone else who shares that very strong opinion with you. It’s pretty great. You feel a sense of peace that you’re not alone. So you know you have to be bold and don’t play it safe and be the person you are on the inside so that you can find someone else just like you and you can support their hopes and dreams as well.

And if there’s big things you don’t like about each other, really big important things, then why are you together? I mean a man wants a woman who makes him want to be the best version of himself. So what does that look like? Again, you’ve got to be a woman of high value. You can’t settle for less than you deserve and he has to respect you. When you challenge him to be better for you or inspire him to be better for you, it makes him want to be a better version of himself. When a man feels fully loved, supported, and accepted by you, it makes him want to be a better man. Of course, he has to love you, be attracted to you and all the other obvious things, but I think it’s really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. A man wants a woman who believes in him and encourages him to do what he already knows he wants to do.

If you shoot down his dreams, he’s not going to fall deeply in love with you. And this is especially true of driven and ambitious men. If you crap on his dreams are constantly criticize him, just be prepared to be in an unhappy relationship or one that doesn’t last, a woman who has respect from her man and encourages him and supports him fully, we’ll get a ton of love back in return and she too will get the love and support that she deserves. It goes both ways. Believe in him wholeheartedly and don’t question his ability to do whatever it is he sets his mind to do. I’m not saying you should kiss his butt and allow him to do things that are obviously irresponsible, right? But the truth of the matter is if you don’t really believe in him and what he represents, then why are you with him?

Find someone whose dreams you can believe in and fully support. That’s what makes a relationship beautiful and that’s what makes a relationship sustainable. That’s how you have a relationship that consists of lifting each other up instead of putting each other down. That’s how you make love last. That and constant communication. Of course, communication is key. That’s not what today’s about, but that’s my take on it anyway. Bottom line, I want you to your best self. The goal shouldn’t be to find someone. The goal should be to become the best version of you that you can possibly be. So that it creates two things. It creates happiness in your life and it creates confidence in yourself. And that is when you’re going to meet the love of your life. Take care. Thanks so much for listening today.

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