When I had the idea for this blog post I must say that it was inspired by my husband. I sat thinking to myself, what is it about this man? Why do I have to be with this man and what about him is so different from the rest? It’s funny because I don’t sit around thinking about this all the time! I realize what prompted me was this moment where I witnessed him do something that gave me an amazing feeling inside. I felt true peace, love and admiration for this man.
I think that most women want the same thing, but most importantly the kind of women who men crave, are attracted to these three traits. They may not even be consciously aware of it, but they feel it. I’m talking about a modern, independent woman who still acts like a woman. I’m talking about the kind of woman who is able to let her guard down and be vulnerable with a man, but is still strong and firm in her beliefs. She knows her value but she doesn’t judge others. She’s well rounded and has her shit together. This woman has life’s priorities straight and she will help you make good choices. She will back you up and support you when you need her. She’s open and honest, and has standards, but isn’t overly harsh and critical. If you demonstrate these three traits to this woman, you will have her heart forever. Of course, she will expect the same in return.
What are these traits that women crave?
I’ve talked before about how women are attracted to confident men. Yes, it’s important that your man is confident, but it actually goes beyond that. You can talk a big game all day, but can you deliver? In my opinion it’s not so much confidence as it is competence.
Strong & Competent
A man who sets his mind to do something and then accomplishes that very thing is beyond hot. He must also do this consistently in all major areas of life. I’m talking about the man who says he’s going to do something and then commits to getting it done, no matter how difficult it is. This man has staying power and a strong will. He isn’t a quitter and he finds a way to get shit done. Of course it goes back to evolutionary psychology. Women want the alpha male. We want the man who’s going to hunt and will not return until he has his kill. That sounds harsh right? Let’s apply it to this day and age. I don’t actually eat meat so I’m not saying I want to be with a man who hunts, okay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (I’m from Texas y’all).
I’m talking about a man who sets his mind to something and sees it through until the end. He wants that promotion, or new job, and he finds a way to make it happen. He wants to buy that house for his family, so he does whatever he needs to do to set money aside to make it happen. His little girl wants a certain toy for her birthday and by God he will not return home without that toy!
Competence is key, but what takes it to the next level?
Some men are so cut throat they will walk all over anybody to get what they want. Women aren’t so into this as they once were. I’m not too sure they were ever into it so much as they were more willing to tolerate it. Not the kind of woman that you want, anyway. Modern women don’t want this anymore. Modern women don’t need it anymore because they now contribute financially. As you know a lot of women now contribute more financially than their guy! Women can take care of themselves so it’s allowed men to tone it down a bit. What does that look like? What does that even mean? Do you know what’s even hotter than a strong and competent man? A man who achieves success with kindness and integrity. He still has to be assertive, but he’s honest in how he does his business. He doesn’t have to take someone else down, in order to move up, necessarily. I’m talking about the kind of man that is able to do what he needs to do for his business and his family, but doesn’t hurt others in the process. He is strong, honest, and kind.
Loving & Nurturing
A loving and nurturing, yet strong man is so hard to find. If you think about it, it’s really the equivalent to what men crave. Men want a woman who is strong and firm in her beliefs, but who is also loving and vulnerable. Women basically want the same thing.
We want a man who is able to provide for our family and put his family first. We also want that man to turn around and be loving and kind to our children, and to our family members. If you can be the man who conducts himself in a strong and assertive manner, and can then turn around and show love and affection to your family? I don’t think there’s anything hotter!
Some of you reading this will think I’m being super obvious here, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is to find a man who has these traits going for him.
When I see my husband lovingly and carefully tending to one of our children, my heart melts. This man takes care of us and we are his number one priority. He makes that very clear to us every day. He’s a wonderful provider and I never worry. He’s strong and aggressive in his business, but he’s also able to show a softer side of himself. The nurturing side that shows his love for his family.
We know he can take care of us, but he shows his love also. He can be strong and assertive, but can also be tender and soft with his children and his wife. He understands that it doesn’t really matter that we have a roof over our heads, if we don’t have his love, affection and dedication to us.
Believe it or not, it’s hard to find a man like this. It seems most men are one extreme or the other. On one hand you have men who are super aggressive and can’t turn it off, so they come across as cold and distant. They aren’t loyal in business so they aren’t loyal with family. The other type is too soft and not aggressive enough! These guys unfortunately come across as weak. Women don’t see them as the alpha male and they aren’t attracted to these men. They may marry them, but I guarantee you their sex life is less than desirable. Which leads me to my next trait.
He Cares About Her Sexual Needs
Yep, I went there! Don’t worry I’m not going to get all graphic, but it’s important to address. A healthy sex life is the hallmark of a happy marriage. You know this! Some men think that women don’t care as much about sex as men. Not true! Okay, maybe they don’t care exactly as much, but women do care! Unfortunately, some women haven’t been with a partner who understands the importance of this. Sadly, they don’t know what they’re missing. Men, let her know what she’s missing out on. Times have changed and women are more in tune with their own sexual needs. It’s no longer just about the guy as it’s sadly been in the past. There’s this misconception that women don’t enjoy sex as much as men, or that it’s not as important. Again, not true! For the longest time women were programmed to make their man happy in the bedroom. Better make sure his needs are met! Ridiculous. I’m not saying it’s not important, but guys, if you want your needs to be met, you better make sure hers are as well! Keep is comparable and make sure both your needs are being met.
In fact, I strongly urge you to explore this more. Read a book. Do some research on the female body. Educate yourself even if you think you know it all! Seriously, if you’re meeting your woman’s sexual needs, you won’t be sorry. Times have changed. More and more women aren’t afraid to explore their own sexuality. Women are sexual beings just like men. There’s nothing wrong with having a happy and healthy sex life. In fact, studies show sex if so good for your health. A healthy sex life gives you a stronger immune system, lowers blood pressure, increases your heart health and reduces your risk of heart disease, hypertension and stroke! If anything you owe it yourself for the sake of your health! So, you know the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Make her very happy in the bedroom and you will feel like the King of the tribe. Oh, and she will treat you like the King too. 🙂
Remember, life’s a balancing act. You must practice everything in moderation. You have to find some middle ground. You have to be firm in your beliefs but kind in your delivery. I firmly believe that anything to the extreme is bad. If you’re too focused on one area of your life, then other areas will suffer. You have to find a happy balance between being a strong yet loving man. You also have to carefully consider the act of expressing your love to each other. Intimacy in marriage equals a healthy sex life with your one and only.
Of course, honesty, fidelity, and the obvious are essential to a happy relationship. There’s also a list of other attractive qualities such as happy, emotionally mature, and financially stable. If you want to take your relationship to the next level, then do what women crave.
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Do you know the #1 Trait Men Find Attractive in a Woman? Read here.